From the Ferret's View
by Joelle8
Summary: It honestly astounds me just how stupid Gryffindors can be. In particular, a moronic Mudblood and an even more idiotic blood traitor. Honestly, when your enemy figures out who you're going to end up with before you do, you have a serious problem. RW/HG
1. Moment 1

From the Ferret's View

Moment 1

It constantly astounds me just how _stupid _Gryffindors can be. In particular, a moronic Mudblood and an even more idiotic blood traitor. I hope you know who I mean by that- yes, Weasley and Granger. It seems you aren't as hopelessly clueless as those two.

You might be wondering, "Draco, you devilishly handsome Slytherin, what on earth are you talking about?" The answer is quite simple, really- I'm _talking _about the fact that it took those two bloody Gryffindors nearly _seven years _to figure out that they were supposed to be together!

Honestly, when your enemy figures out who you're going to end up with before you do, you have a serious problem.

The first time I had an inkling that Weasley and Granger were going to end up together, they weren't even friends, nor were we even at Hogwarts yet. Hell, they didn't even know I was _there_. But as it happens, Crabbe, Goyle and I were in the compartment next to Potter's and Weasley's, and our door was open, resulting in us hearing absolutely _everything_…

**"Oi, Malfoy," Crabbe asked, his mouth overflowing with food in mid-chew. "D'you want that Chocolate Frog?"**

**"No. Go ahead," I tossed the Chocolate frog to him, wincing at his revolting manners. "Crabbe, learn to chew with your mouth closed, will you? Same goes for you, Goyle." Both of my mates instantly shut their mouths as they chewed, trying not to choke on all the food. I smirked at their expense- it was quite a funny sight. Suddenly, I was distracted by a loud, bossy voice from nearby.**

**"Are you sure that's a real spell?" The voice- it was clearly a girl's- asked, sounding skeptical. I could only guess she had come upon some student who had been foolishly attempting magic, as she continued, "Well, it's not very good, is it? I've tried a few simple spells just for practice and it's all worked for me. Nobody in my family's magic at all-"**

**Goyle's snort cut off her words. "A Mudblood, eh? Filth."**

**"Quiet!" I snapped at him, just in time to hear the girl say,**

**"I'm Hermione Granger, by the way, who are you?"**

**After a pause, a new voice- a boy's, this time- spoke, "I'm Ron Weasley." I snickered; Father had warned me there was a Weasley my age, and I couldn't be more excited. It meant that I'd have someone to torture.**

**"Harry Potter," a new voice- vaguely familiar, though I had no clue where from- piped in. I sat up, and I could tell that Goyle and Crabbe did, too. Did this boy say he was **_**Harry Potter**_**? The **_**oh-so-famous **_**Boy Who Lived? Defeater of the great Dark Lord?**

**Good. Father had told me to befriend him. It helped considerably to know where to find him.**

**Apparently, even though she was a Mudblood, this Granger girl recognized Potter's name, too. "Are you really? I know all about you, of course- I got a few extra books for background reading, and you're in **_**Modern Magical History **_**and **_**The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts **_**and **_**Great Wizarding Events of the Twentieth Century**_**."**

**"Am I?" I chuckled at Potter's overwhelmed tone. Pathetic.**

**Little Miss Know-It-All replied, "Goodness, didn't you know, I'd have figured out everything I could if it was me. Do either of you know what House you'll be in? I've been asking around, I hope I'm in Gryffindor, it sounds by far the best; I hear Dumbledore himself was in it, but I suppose Ravenclaw wouldn't be too bad… Anyway, we'd better go and look for Neville's toad. You had better change, you know, I expect we'll be there soon."**

**I heard her and some other person- no doubt just as much of a loser, presumably named Neville by the sound of it- walk down the corridor, thankfully away from me. Bloody hell, the girl could **_**talk**_**.**

**"Whatever House I'm in, I hope she's not in it," I barely made out Weasley grumble.**

**I couldn't agree with him more.**

Now, you might be thinking to yourself, "How does that make a person think that Weasley and Granger are meant to be, oh great Prince of Slytherin?"

To be honest, my reasons are complete rubbish, but I'll tell you them anyways. For one, all the Weasleys are blood traitors, and Granger's a Mudblood- that alone makes them perfect together, in my opinion. They could have traitorous little half-blood babies together. Second, the Mudblood wouldn't stop talking, whereas Weasley didn't talk once after introducing himself (though, I suppose, that could've been because Granger didn't give him a chance to, she was so busy jabbering); we all know how opposites attract.

But the most important reason was that Weasley disliked her right off the bat. I'm sure you need explaining, so I shall comply (don't get used to it).

You must understand, I am not one of those people who believe in all that bullshit about "Hate being one step from love," blah blah blah. I_ do_, however, believe in _dislike _being one step from love, in some cases. In those cases, the two people have to be basically the same kind of people- as in, either both are good, or both are bad. I've heard that there's some Muggle book, by Shakespoon or something, about these two moronic teenagers from enemy families falling in love, despite being entirely different types of people.

Let me tell you, that's an even bigger load of bull than "Hate being one step from love".

Anyways, so my basic point is, Weasley disliked Granger, and both of them were those disgusting, genuinely good people that make me want to throw up. So you see? They fit both of my criteria.

I know, you're probably extremely confused right now. I can't honestly say that I'm all that surprised- very few people understand the genius that is my mind. Don't worry, though- it gets easier. Because with each time I observe Weasley and Granger, it's all too obvious- to me, and any relatively intelligent person, at least- that they're falling for each other a little bit more…

**_I haven't seen a story like this yet, and I thought it would be interesting to try. I have to tell you, I LOVE writing as Draco Malfoy. It is HILARIOUS! Anyways, so I have a few chapters written so far, but I'm not sure how often I'll post, or when I'll have a chance to write the other chapters. But I'll do it as quick as I can, I promise you!_**

**_I'm going to clear up one thing now: THIS FIC GOES BY THE BOOKS. NOT THE MOVIES. So if there's some sort of really sweet Ron/Hermione moment in the movies, I'll do my best to try to write it so that it fits into the books, but if I can't manage it, then PLEASE do not start yelling at me. Also, I might make up some moments. Thanks!_**

**_Thanks so much for reading! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! If you don't, then how will I know whether or not my story is a complete and utter failure? ;)_**

**_-Joelle8_**


	2. Moment 2

From the Ferret's View

Moment 2

Well, I'm back! Did you miss me? I'm sure you did, there's no reason to be ashamed of it. You can thank me for making your life worth living later. Right now, we have much more pressing matters at hand.

Let us continue the tale of Weasley and Granger and their utter stupidity. Now, truth be told, besides what I have already told you, there were not any times in First Year when it was all too clear that those bloody Gryffindors wanted to jump each other- or at least that they would someday. So let's move on to Second Year, shall we?

Again, I was fortunate enough- note the sarcasm- to come upon Potter and his worthless friends even before the school year began.

_**Why is it the absolutely **_**everyone **_**loves bloody Potter? **_**I thought as that idiot Lockhart's loud voice rang through Flourish and Blotts, distracting me from my book shopping.**

**"When young Harry here stepped into Flourish and Blotts today, he only wanted my autobiography- which I shall be happy to present to him now, free of charge-" From my perch on the second floor of the shop, I could see a more-than-fair sized crowd applauding these words. Stupid people.**

**Lockhart blabbered on, "He had **_**no idea**_**-" he shook Potter, making those ugly glasses of his nearly fall off, and I snickered at his unsettled look "-that he would shortly be getting much, much more than my book, **_**Magical Me**_**. He and his schoolmates will, in fact, be getting the real magical me." I froze in horror; he couldn't mean what I think he did, could he? Straining to hear more, I caught Lockhart continuing, "Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have great pleasure and pride in announcing that this September, I will be taking up the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"**

**I groaned; the great prat couldn't be serious, could he? Sure, he had **_**reportedly**_** defeated loads of evil creatures, but he was clearly an absolute idiot! I would have to call **_**him **_**"Professor" for a whole year? Oh, this couldn't be good. **_**I'll complain to Father about him, **_**I decided. **_**He'll get rid of him.**_

**Suddenly, I was distracted by Potter being his stupid noble self and giving his new books to some little redheaded girl. A Weasley, no doubt- I could see her freckles from all the way up here. I scowled and walked down to confront the bloody Gryffindor. **

**"Bet you loved that, didn't you, Potter?" I sneered. He straightened up and glared at me; I was happy to have gotten some sort of a rise out of him. I continued, "**_**Famous **_**Harry Potter. Can't even go into a **_**bookshop **_**without making the front page."**

**"Leave him alone, he didn't want all that!" I looked down to see the mini Weasley glaring at me. It was quite hilarious that someone as small as her was trying to scare me.**

**"Potter, you've got yourself a **_**girlfriend**_**!" I barely suppressed laughter, which became ever harder as the girl's face grew as red as her hair. Her whole head was like a tomato.**

**Just then, Weasley and Granger walked over, both holding books. "Oh, it's you," Weasley snarled. I was pleased to see, from his face, that we felt the same way about each other. "Bet you're surprised to see Harry here, eh?"**

**Though I didn't know what in Merlin's name he was talking about, I retaliated, "Not as surprised as I am to see you in a shop, Weasley. I suppose your parents will go hungry for a month to pay for all those." It was so easy to get a rise out of him- he was as red as his sister as he dropped his books to lunge at me. I stood my ground, knowing that Potter and Granger would hold him back. **

**Of course, Potter and Granger did just as I guessed. Bloody pacifists. I couldn't help but notice, though, how the Mudblood looked at Weasley; she clearly cared for him. As in, in a more-than-friendly way. I doubt even she knew it, though. She may be book smart- even I have to admit that- but she sure as hell is oblivious.**

**"Ron!" A tall, scrawny man walked up; the little left of his hair was red. He was clearly that worthless excuse of a pureblood who Father always complains about; Arnold Weasley or whatever. Those reckless prankster twins followed him. "What are you doing? It's too crowded in here, let's go outside." **

**I smirked, hearing Father approach from behind me. He placed his hand on my shoulder and said, "Well, well, well- Arthur Weasley." Oh, **_**that's **_**his name!**

**"Lucius." **

**"Busy time at the Ministry, I hear," Father sneered, not at all put off by the blood traitor's obvious hatred. "All those raids… I hope they're paying you overtime?"**

**We all knew that that wasn't the case. It was one of those times I wished to be as clever as Father one day.**

**Father procured a ratty old copy of **_**A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration **_**from inside the little Weaslette's cauldron. My sneer grew larger as Father said, "Obviously not. Dear me, what's the use of being a disgrace to the name of wizard if they don't even pay you well for it?"**

**The filth flushed even redder than his repulsive children. It was hilarious to see his face even redder than his hair- or, rather, lack of. "We have a very different idea of what disgraces the name of wizard, Malfoy." I inwardly snorted at this; of course, blood traitors like the Weasleys thought that they were above **_**true **_**purebloods just because they were all in bloody Gryffindor.**

**Clearly, stupidity runs in the family.**

**From out of the corner of my eye, I saw Father look over at two uncomfortable looking adults straying a bit behind. The man had black hair and nervous brown eyes, altogether quite boring looking. His arm was around a woman whose blue eyes were just as scared as his. They were obviously Muggles, and quite clearly- from the brown bush on top of the woman's head- Granger's parents. **

**"Clearly," Father began, standing proudly, as was his right to. "The company you keep, Weasley… and I thought your family could sink no lower-"**

**I jumped to the side as the barbarian lunged at Father, knocking him into a bookshelf, resulting in books falling onto their heads. It was total chaos as Father and the blood traitor fought. One voice was louder than the others, and it was impossible not to recognize that lumbering oaf, Hagrid, as he shouted, "Break it up, there, gents, break it up-"**

**The great buffoon pulled the fight apart, and I cringed to see that Father had a black eye- not to mention he would have to burn that cloak now, since the filthy half-giant (or so **_**I **_**suspected, at least) was touching it. Somehow, Father had managed to keep a hold of Weaslette's book, and he thrust it back at her. I couldn't help but note it looked more like that book he had put in his cloak this morning than a Transfiguration textbook; but that was impossible. Father wouldn't do something as foolish as that. My eyes must've be playing tricks on me.**

**Father was shaking with rage, and I was thankful that I would not be on the receiving end of it. "Here, girl- take your book- it's the best your father can give you-" he wrenched himself out of that giant gamekeeper's grasp, and beckoned to me. Straightening up proudly, I strode over to him, and we exited the shop like the proud purebloods we were.**

Honestly, Arthur Weasley's a _barbarian_! Clearly, a number of rather unfavorable traits run in that family. Sometimes, I pity them. Not really, though.

Well, I think it's clear what in that moment made it so obvious that Granger and Weasley would get together someday. I did try to point it out. I must go now- I do have a life, you know. Farewell for now!

_**Yes, Moment 2 of "From the Ferret's View"! I know, I know, it's not much, but what do you expect from two twelve-year-olds?**_

**_By the way, just in case you care (which you probably don't), I just watched "A Very Potter Musical"._**

**_!_**

**_It's one of the most ridiculous, most hilarious things I've ever seen in my life! Draco cracks me up!_**

**_Anyways, back to my story. Please review!_**

**_-Joelle8_**


	3. Moment 3

From the Ferret's View

Moment 3

At this point, you must be thinking, "Draco, you prince among wizards, are you quite sure that your ingenious mind hasn't- perhaps- mistaken some of the signs between Weasley and Granger? Could they not be _just friends_?"

To which I shall answer you, "Dear reader, when has my brilliant mind ever been that wrong?"

No need to apologize for your momentary lapse of intelligence. It often happens to people in my presence.

By now, we have reached Moment Three. You'll be happy to know that it is- in my consistently right opinion- quite obvious that there are more-than-friendly feelings between the blood traitor and the Mudblood.

Speaking of Mudblood, that word is really how this moment got started…

**"There's nothing I like better than crashing parties," Graham Montague smirked deviously, cracking his knuckles. My smirk mirrored his as I looked around at my new teammates. I was **_**finally **_**on the Slytherin Quidditch team- as a Seeker, no less. I could hardly wait to beat Potter like the worthless scum he was.**

**"**_**Especially **_**when they're rotten **_**Gryffindor **_**parties," Adrian Pucey agreed, spitting the name of that repulsive enemy House. **

**"They're not even worthy of magic," I added haughtily. My fellow Slytherins burst into laughter, and my smirk grew even larger. **

**"I knew you were a good pick, Malfoy," Marcus Flint, our Captian, slapped my back in a friendly manner; I tried not to wince. "You fit right in with us here."**

**"Not to mention your father gave us all new brooms," Peregrine Derrick put in, clutching the latest broomstick model, the Nimbus 2001, to his chest. I showed no change in emotion on my face, as Father had trained me to do, but inwardly I was beaming with pride. Who says money can't buy happiness?**

**Gryffindors, no doubt. Forgive my stupidity. I shouldn't have even asked.**

**"Oi! We have to practice. C'mon, you lot- let's show those Gryffindors who's boss," Flint ordered, and we all let out a cheer. No pep talk was as rousing as one that illustrated crushing those stupid Gryffindors like the insects they are.**

**Our team strutted down to the Quidditch pitch, where we were greeted by the revolting sight of our enemy House's no-good Quidditch team. Even from our distance, I could see their Captain- Wool or something- shaking with rage. It did my heart good to see it.**

**"Flint!" Wool screamed at us. "This is our practice time! We got up specially! You can clear off now!"**

**Our Captain had a look of true Slytherin cunning on his face as he coolly responded, "Plenty of room for all of us, Wood." Oh, so **_**that **_**was his name! I should probably remember that.**

**Three girls- players on the Gryffindor team, no doubt, by their red and gold robes (trust the Gryffindors to have some weakling girls on their team)- walked over and stood by their Captain, looking almost as angry as him. One girl was tall and blond, but everything about the other two girls was dark. The taller of the dark girls was a bit intimidating, with her cold eyes and her crossed arms and her scowl, to tell the truth- though you won't catch me admitting that in public.**

**"But I booked the field! I booked it!" Really, Wood's rage was utterly **_**hilarious**_**! **_**I have to tell Marcus we should do this more often, **_**I noted mentally, chuckling to myself.**

**His smirk still firmly planted on his face, Flint said, "Ah. But I've got a specially signed not here from Professor Snape. '**_**I, Professor S. Snape, give the Slytherin team permission to practice today on the Quidditch field owing to the need to train their new Seeker.**_**'" I sneered at our team's brilliance- Professor Snape hadn't **_**really **_**written us a note, but there was no need for the Gryffindors to know that, was there?**

**Wood, being the brainless Gryffindor he was, didn't bother checking the note for himself, and instead asked, "You've got a new Seeker? Where?"**

_**Well, that's my cue**_**, I thought, stepping out from behind my six significantly larger teammates, smirking triumphantly. **

**"Aren't you Lucius Malfoy's son?" One of the blood traitor twins- Merlin knows who can tell them apart- questioned. He looked at my with every sign of disgust; I made sure to return the look even more harshly.**

**Us Slytherins grinned even wider as Flint spoke, "Funny you should mention Draco's father. Let me show you the generous gift he's made to the Slytherin team."**

**We all proudly held out our new broomsticks. I smirked at the look of jealousy and awe on our enemies' faces. **

**"Very latest model. Only came out last month." Flint made a good show of flicking nonexistent dust off of his gorgeous broom- quite clever, it drew more attention to the fact the he had the broom and they didn't- as he continued, "I believe it outstrips the old Two Thousand series by a considerable amount. As for the old Cleansweeps- sweeps the board with them."**

**I smirked broader. There was nothing I liked better than a good jab at Potter and any Weasley. Hearing both at once always improves my mood considerably.**

**I spotted Weasley- the one in my Year- and Granger coming over to us the same time as Flint. "Oh, look," he began scathingly, "A field invasion."**

**Weasley, of course, marched right over to Potter, like the useless sidekick he was. "What's happening? Why aren't you playing? And what's **_**he **_**doing here?"**

**Smug at being able to hold something over Weasley- yet again- I told him, "I'm the new Slytherin Seeker, Weasley. Everyone's just been admiring the brooms my father's bought our team."**

**I swear, seeing Gryffindors' jaws drop with envy never gets old.**

**"Good, aren't they?" I continued smoothly, not letting anyone know that I was jumping with joy inside. "But perhaps the Gryffindor team will be able to raise some gold and get new brooms, too. You could raffle off those Cleansweep Fives; I expect a museum would bid for them."**

**My team burst out laughing, and I sneered proudly. **_**I really am quite clever, **_**I remarked to my glorious self. **

**"At least no one on the Gryffindor teams had to **_**buy **_**their way in. **_**They **_**got in on pure talent." My gaze flashed to Granger, who, as usual, stuck up for Weasley. She **_**always **_**stood up for Weasley.**

**"No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood," I spat at her.**

**It was quite funny to watch everyone react to my use words- or, should I say, word. I made sure not to show how frightened I was as Flint stopped those Weasley twins from tackling me (I've said it before and I'll say it again, **_**Barbarism runs in that family!**_**). The smaller dark girl screeched, "**_**How dare you!**_**"**

**The funniest reaction, though, was Weasley (my age). Trying to defend Granger's honor (or, rather, lack of, in my opinion), he took his Spellotaped wand from out of his robes, pointed it at me under Flint's arm, and yelled, "You'll pay for that one, Malfoy!"**

**I might have been scared had his wand not been held backwards, hitting him with the spell he had intended for me. He flew backwards onto the grass. The Mudblood rushed over to him and squealed in a disgusting, caring manner, "Ron! Ron! Are you all right?"**

**When Weasley puked slugs as a response, I couldn't help falling to the ground in laughter, pounding the earth with my fist. It was the funniest thing I had ever seen in my entire life. Tears from laughter clouded my vision, and I could barely breathe. I was rendered so senseless by my laughing that I didn't notice Potter and Granger had pulled Weasley to that great oaf's hut- if you could even call it that- until Wood barked, sounding none too pleased, "Oi! They're gone! You lot can stop laughing now!"**

**I slowly regained my composure, standing up by my team, all of whom were panting. "Well," Flint began once he could breathe freely again, "it looks like you've lost your Seeker, haven't you? So it's no use practicing anyways, Wood."**

**Wood glared at all of us in response. Clearly, he was too foolish and stubborn to admit we were right. A true Gryffindor, he was. Disgusting.**

**"Come on, Oliver," the blonde girl tugged on his sleeve. "Let's just go. We'll practice again another time."**

**"Yeah, listen to your girlfriend, Wood," Lucian Bole jeered. The Weasley twins and the tall dark girl dragged their idiot Captain back to their changing rooms as he struggled to break free of their holds and attack Bole. **

**Maybe barbarism wasn't just a Weasley trait after all.**

See? Did I not tell you that it became much more obvious that Weasley and Granger would end up together someday as time went on?

Let's look over the facts now, shall we?

-Granger defended Weasley. Like she does _every bloody time_. Now, I ask you, does that not sound like the kind of thing someone would do for a person (if Weasley could even by called that) they fancied?

-Weasley was angrier than everyone else when I called Granger a Mudblood, and defended her, going so far as attempting to curse me. By the look on her face, she probably found it quite sweet that he tried to stand up for her. It made _me _want to puke slugs!

-When Weasley fell victim to his own spell like the moron he is, Granger wasted no time in running over to him to make sure he was okay. Really, you should have heard her. "Ron! Ron! Are you alright? Ron! Ron!" It was like he was a bloody _hero_. It made me want to puke slugs _yet again_! And trust me; it takes a lot to make me _want _to lose my composure like that!

Then I saw Weasley belching slugs again, and that made everything better.

_**Yes, you are allowed to throw rotten vegetables at me! I've been TERRIBLE at updating- I am SO SO SO sorry! Blame school!**_

**_Please, please, PLEASE review! If only to rant about my awful updating!_**

**_Thanks,_**

**_Joelle8_**


	4. Moments 4 and 5

From the Ferret's View

Moments 4 and 5

This chapter shall include two moments, as the first one is painfully short (though the second one is actually quite long). Don't expect me to apologize. In any case, these memories take us to the opening of the Chamber of Secrets, courtesy of the Heir of Slytherin. I now know the Heir of Slytherin to be the Dark Lord, but at the time, I was just as clueless as everyone else as to who had unleashed the terrible beast (a basilisk, it turns out). Yes, I know, the thought of _me _being _clueless _is undoubtedly a terrible shock for you, but really, what did you expect? While I may be your hero- don't bother denying it- all heroes have their faults, do they not? I myself am practically perfect, so really, you've lucked out.

Back to the memory now. I was being my normal, innocent self, strolling through the halls with Crabbe and Goyle, when we came upon a peculiar- yet delightful- sight.

_**If there's anything at all worthwhile about this school, **_**I thought, my stomach pleasantly full, **_**it's the food. Simply delicious- more so than Dobby's, the miserable elf. Useless, that thing is.**_

**"Malfoy?" Crabbe spoke up, and I turned to face him. "Why's everyone stopping?"**

**I frowned- more at the fact that **_**Crabbe **_**had noticed something before **_**me**_** than at the fact that everyone had, indeed, stopped in their tracks. What was more startling, though, was that everyone was completely silent- a rare feat for around ninety-nine percent of the pathetic ingrates here.**

**However, I was, I admit, quite curious at what was going on. So I ordered, "Crabbe, Goyle- forward," and we (rather, they) pushed our way through the crowd. The sight that greeted me was one I had never thought I would see anywhere other than my dreams.**

**On the wall, written in beautiful, glistening writing that I could only dare to hope was blood, were the words, THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS BEEN OPENED. ENEMIES OF THE HEIR, BEWARE. Below the writing, the floor was flooded and glimmering in the dark, nearly nonexistent light. That wasn't the best part, though- far from it, in fact. My prayers seemed to have been answered, as Mrs. Norris, the devil creature, was hanging, utterly unmoving, from the torch bracket. And if that wasn't wonderful enough already, Potter, Weasley, and Granger were all standing around the cat, looking for all to see like they had just killed a cat- even though I knew they weren't nearly powerful enough to do so. Judging by the stunned lack of sound, though, everyone else was too stupid to have realized this.**

**Oh, yes, this was absolutely **_**fantastic**_**. **

**Feeling better than I had in a very long time, I shouted, my veins pumping with thrilled adrenaline, "Enemies of the Heir, beware! You'll be next, Mudbloods!"**

**Potter, Weasley and Granger glared daggers at me- causing my grin to grow even larger- and I couldn't help but notice that Weasley was undoubtedly angriest. His fists were clenched at his sides, and his ears were redder than his horrid hair. He was practically **_**shaking **_**with rage.**

**I hadn't wanted to laugh so much since Weasley had started belching slugs.**

**I half expected my face to split open when ol' Filch, our crazy Squib of a caretaker, came hobbling over, yelling, "What's going on here? What's going on?"**

**His eyes fells on his immobile cat, and his hands flew to his face in terror. I could've laughed out loud right then and there. "My cat! My cat! What happened to Mrs. Norris?" The old goon screeched. Then he spotted Potter, and I **_**did **_**laugh out loud- quietly enough that nobody heard, thankfully- as Filch screamed, "**_**You! You! **_**You've murdered my cat! You've killed her! I'll kill you! I'll-"**

**"**_**Argus**_**!" **

_**Why does sodding Dumbledore always have to ruin everything? **_**I wondered in my head, thoroughly disappointed that Filch's rant had been cut off. **

**"Come with me, Argus. You too, Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, Miss Granger," Dumbledore commanded, looking oh-so-impressive and so **_**incredibly **_**capable (note the sarcasm). I suppressed a barf. Even **_**Dumbledore **_**worshipped Potter and his mates! It was sickening!**

**As soon as that idiot, Lockhart, stepped up, I stopped listening. He was a bloody idiot; I had talked to Father about getting him sacked, but "unfortunately", then we would have no one to take his place.**

**How is having one less class at all unfortunate, I ask you?**

**A few minutes later, once Dumbledore had ushered the **_**wonderful **_**Potter and the **_**brilliant **_**Granger and the **_**hilarious **_**Weasley up to the safety of Lockhart's office, I dragged Crabbe and Goyle back to the Slytherin Common Room. **

**Plenty of good food, a petrified cat, Potter and his mates in trouble, and Slytherin finally getting its deserved glory? It was a **_**very **_**good day.**

I admit, only one part of that evidenced the fact that Weasley and Granger were going to get together one day- Weasley being the most angered about me using the word "Mudblood", for you slow people out there- but it was a start, nonetheless!

This next memory takes place in the first and only meeting of the Dueling Club. It was established to teach the students how to defend themselves against Slytherin's monster after said monster attacked Colin Creevey. Personally, I think it did us all a favor; then again, Potter was a lot less annoyed without Creevey following him all over the place, so I suppose I'm about fifty-fifty.

On to the memory, shall we?

**"Dumbledore is an idiot," I snapped irritably to Crabbe and Goyle, who nodded, pretending to understand the magnificently intelligent ways of my mind- as usual. "I mean, really- a **_**Dueling Club**_**? What in the world makes him think a monster can **_**duel**_**?"**

**"You're right, Malfoy," Goyle laughed, and Crabbe joined in. "Dumbledore's a right idiot. Yeah."**

**I nearly rolled my eyes at how dim they were.**

**"So, are we going?" Crabbe asked me. **

**"Why not?" I shrugged. "Who knows- maybe we'll get to see one of those impulsive Gryffindors make a fool of themselves! It's not that uncommon." **

**Chuckling at my astonishing wit, we departed the entrance hall. At eight o'clock that night, we arrived at the Great Hall, fully prepared to smash a few Gryffindors' heads together.**

**With or without magic.**

**"Draco!" Pansy Parkinson squealed, nearly skipping over to me. Daphne Greengrass and Millicent Bulstrode followed her. "I knew you were going to come! Didn't I, Daph, Milli?"**

**Daphne chirped, "Yeah!" while Millicent, who was bulky and rather terrifying, just grimaced, obviously hating the title "Milli". I nearly cringed just at the look on her face.**

**Pansy looked like she was going to try to chat with me again, but just then, Snape and Lockhart walked on stage. For once, I was actually grateful for Lockhart- I really didn't fancy having to listen to Pansy jabber on and on and **_**on**_**.**

**"Gather round, gather round! Can everyone see me? Can you all hear me? Excellent!" Mr. Stupider-Than-Even-Potter (and that's saying something) called out. I rolled my eyes, and Pansy giggled. As high pitched as it was, it couldn't drone out Lockhart going on, "Now, Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little dueling club, to train you all in case you ever need to defend yourselves as I myself have done on countless occasions- for full details, see my published works."**

**Granger sighed wistfully, and my near-barf turned into a smirk as Weasley glowered.**

**"Let me introduce my assistant, Professor Snape," Lockhart beamed around at us. Snape was doing the opposite, of course, and I almost felt a stab of pity for Lockhart's inevitable fate. Almost. "He tells me he knows a tiny bit about dueling himself and has sportingly agreed to help me with a short demonstration before we begin. Now, I don't want any of you youngsters to worry- you'll still have your Potions master when I'm through with him, never fear!"**

**I snorted. Father had told me of Snape's talent with spells. This was definitely going to be good. **

_**Snape looks fit to kill, **_**I chuckled internally. **_**Clearly, Lockhart would be a pile of ashes right now if Snape had his way. I don't blame him. I wish I had Creevey's- what do you call it? A chimra? Camer? Oh, whatever!**_

**My attention was turned back to the stage as Snape nodded and Blondie bowed, with much ridiculous flourishing. The two teachers raised their wands and pointed them at each other, and I nearly shivered with anticipation.**

**"As you see, we are holding our wands in the accepted combative position," Professor Show-Off told us, acting like we were actually dumber than him. **

_**Almost funny how highly he thinks of himself, **_**I noted.**

**"On the count of three, we will cast our first spells. Neither of us will be aiming to kill, of course," Lockhart said confidently.**

**I vaguely heard Potter mutter, "I wouldn't bet on that," and as I looked up at my Head of House, I was forced to agree with him. Though I'd never admit it, of course.**

**"One- Two- Three-"**

**Along with Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy, Daphne and Millicent, I cheered as Lockhart was promptly blasted into the wall thanks to our Potions master's Disarming Charm. **

**"Do you think he's all right?" Granger looked very concerned for Lockhart's well being, like every other girl there. **

**"Who cares?" Potter and Weasley replied, and, again, I had to agree with them. I did **_**not**_**, however, agree with Weasley's red, plainly envious expression as he glanced back at Lockhart's sprawled form.**

_**I wonder if Weasley realizes he's jealous, **_**I mused, chuckling out loud. Pansy sent me an odd look, but I just winked at her, and she giggled, turning away. **_**It's handy to be handsome, **_**I noted, smirking.**

**Unfortunately, Professor Incompetent was standing; I was pleased to see that he looked significantly more disheveled, though. He made his way back up on stage and said, "Well, there you have it! That was a Disarming Charm- as you see, I've lost my wand- ah, thank you, Miss Brown- yes, an excellent idea to show them that, Professor Snape, but if you don't mind my saying so"-I was willing to bet the entire Malfoy fortune that Snape would indeed mind him saying so- "it was very obvious what you were about to do. If I had wanted to stop you it would have been only too easy- however, I felt it would be instructive to let them see…"**

**Clearly, I was correct- as always- in thinking that Snape did mind Lockhart saying so. For once, Lockhart wasn't a total idiot, and noticed. As to avoid being killed, I believe, he instructed- as if he was actually **_**better **_**than us, the moron- "Enough demonstrating! I'm going to come amongst you now and put you all into pairs. Professor Snape, if you'd like to help me-"**

**I hissed, "**_**Yes**_**," under my breath triumphantly as Snape got to Potter and Weasley. **

**"Time to split up the dream team, I think." His sneer was worthy of a Malfoy- not that I hadn't seen it before. "Weasley, you can partner with Finnigan." I pouted at this not-so-awful pairing. "Potter-" Snape began, and the oh-so-fabulous Boy Who Lived automatically moved towards the Mudblood. Weasley glared at him, then seemed to snap out of it and turned back to Finnigan. The Potions professor refused to pair up Potter and Granger, stating, "I don't think so." To my glee, he continued, "Mr. Malfoy, come over here."**

**I walked over obediently and smirked up at him. He really was my favorite professor.**

**"Let's see what you make of the famous Potter. And you, Miss Granger- you can partner with Miss Bulstrode." I have never felt more affection- platonic, of course- for Millicent than when she fiercely glared at Granger, making her wince and back away. **_**I'll have to thank her for that later.**_

**"Face your partners!" Lockhart cried out. A shame, really- I rather liked not hearing his annoying voice every second of my life. "And bow!"**

**Potter and I barely inclined our heads. My smirk only grew as I clutched my wand tighter at my side, my eagerness growing.**

**"Wand at the ready!" Lockhart demanded, even though everyone's already was. "When I count to three, cast your charms to disarm your opponents- **_**only **_**to disarm them- we don't want any accidents- one… two…" I wasted no time in swinging up my arm, and by the time our useless Defense professor said, "three," I had sent a painful jinx Potter's way. **

**Potter stumbled, I was gleeful to see. **_**Finally, a chance to prove I'm better than him! **_**I thought, less than a second before I doubled up, wheezing, and then burst out laughing. I was unable to stop myself from falling onto the floor, gasping for breath. Stupid "Rictusempra".**

**I didn't even hear Lockhart's shouted words; my mind only registered Potter standing there, clearly thinking he had finished me off and didn't need to do anything more. **_**Cocky Gryffindor. I'll show him, **_**I vowed as I gasped, "Tarantallegra!" My spell hit Potter straight in the chest, and I was pleased to see he was complete rubbish at dancing. **

**I couldn't concentrate on anything around me until Snape took off that stupid Tickling Charm. Then, I had to remind myself to thank Millicent again- she had physically beaten up Granger. What a lovely Slytherin. **_**I'll have to tell Father to send the Bulstrodes some money**_**, I decided.**

**Granger was whimpering in pain, and Weasley rushed to her side immediately, exceedingly concerned. From the looks of it, he was checking her for bruises, asking if she was alright. Granger was blushing at this, and I fought not to roll my eyes.**

**"-How about Malfoy and Potter?" I drew my attention to Snape, after catching Pansy's supportive thumbs-up. **

**"Excellent idea!" Lockhart ushered Potter and I into the middle of the hall, and it was then I realized we'd been volunteered to demonstrate something.**

**Good. I would be able to crush Potter in public. This would be fun.**

**Lockhart showed Potter a complex wand movement, ending in him dropping his wand. Professor Snape smirked and whispered into my ear, "Incompetence reigns among Ravenclaws, obviously. Lockhart is a prime example of that. Use the spell, 'Serpensortia'- it conjures a snake. Potter won't be able to block it." I smirked- it was refreshing to have a teacher who hated Potter as much as, if not more than, me.**

**"Professor, could you show me that blocking thing again?" Potter asked Lockhart, his frightened face doing my heart good.**

**"Scared?" I murmured, quietly enough that nobody but Potter would hear.**

**"You wish."**

**I snarled. Potter **_**always **_**thought he was better than me. **_**Always**_**. I would prove him wrong.**

**Before I knew it, Lockhart was counting down, "Three- two- one- go!"**

**I wasted no time in shouting, "Serpensortia!" and could have jumped with joy at Potter's evident fright. However, I had been taught to guard my emotions, so I contented myself with just smirking.**

**Snape seemed to be enjoying this as much as me. "Don't move, Potter. I'll get rid of it…"**

**"Allow me!"**

_**Oh, this is going to be good! **_**I chortled as Lockhart stepped forward. Instead of vanishing the snake, it flew ten feet into the air and slammed back down, even angrier than before. It hissed and slithered towards some Mudblood Hufflepuff, preparing to strike. I watched eagerly.**

**Then, something happened that I doubt anyone had expected- and certainly not me.**

**Potter **_**hissed**_**- literally - and the snake immediately backed off. **_**Merlin's saggy left pant leg, Potter's a Parselmouth! **_**I thought, my jaw dropping. Around me, people had similar expressions.**

**Of course, Potter expected to be treated as a hero for this, being so full of himself. To my extreme satisfaction, the Hufflepuff asked, "What do you think you're playing at?" and abruptly fled the Great Hall, scared and angry. As Professor Snape made the snake disappear, Weasley and Granger exchanged a meaningful look, pulled away their touching hands, and with red cheeks, went and tugged Potter out of the Great Hall.**

**Potter- famous Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, "defeater" of the Dark Lord- had the most infamous power of Salazar Slytherin himself! **_**He just **_**loves **_**beating me, doesn't me? **_**I thought heatedly, placing a fake smirk on my face as I went back down to talk with Crabbe and Goyle.**

**I really hated that bloke.**

Well, this certainly ended up being longer than I originally planned- but again, I won't apologize! Father always taught me, "A Malfoy never apologizes, because Malfoys never have anything to apologize for." The truest motto I've ever heard, personally.

Back to Weasley and Granger. Yes, I know, you're wondering, "Oh glorious Slytherin Prince, these signs are all so minor! When is it going to become more obvious that the blood traitor and the Mudblood are going to end up together, Your Greatness?"

All in good time, my faithful fans, all in good time.

_**You should be very proud of me. Not only did I update less than a month after posting the last chapter, but I gave you TWO moments! :D So, Jitter (you know who you are), does this mean you'll stop nagging me now? PLEASE?**_

**_Anyways, what do you think? Please, please, please, PLEASE review!_**

**_Thanks,_**

**_Joelle8_**

**_P.S. I always seem to forget this... DISCLAIMER: Yeah, sure, I own Harry Potter. I also go to Pigfarts. :P (For all you people out there whe haven't seen "A Very Potter Musical," GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW so you'll understand my sarcasm.)_**


	5. Moment 6

From the Ferret's View

Moment 6

Hello, faithful readers! I've returned! I'm not even going to ask if you missed me- I know you did. Why wouldn't you? It's _me_, after all.

This chapter chronicles the most unusually wild feast I have ever experienced in all my years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Yes, I know, you must be thinking to yourselves: Draco, your last memory was of the Dueling Club in December! Were there no instances that proved Weasley and Granger's obvious affections for each other?

My first answer: Don't you remember First Year? I only had one memory for that!

My second answer: Believe it or not, I try my hardest to stay away from the oh-so-fabulous (note the sarcasm) Golden Trio and I do not, in fact, observe them all that often. During my second year, I was very focused on trying to figure out who the Heir of Slytherin was- I wanted to help him, it would have been such an honor- and so, I stayed away from Potter, Weasley, and Granger even more than usual that year.

My third answer: Keep in mind, Granger was paralyzed by the basilisk (bless its dead heart) just after Easter holidays, and was only revived on the day of the feast that I will tell you about shortly.

My fourth answer: This may shock you, but twelve- and thirteen-year-olds do not have _that _much romance.

You better be satisfied with my reasoning there, because I'm right and you're wrong if you think otherwise. And that's that. On with the memory!

**"Why are we **_**celebrating**_**?" I groaned, fighting to keep my poise and not bang my head on the Slytherin table.**

**"'Cause they caught the Heir o' Slyth'rin," Goyle told me. I rolled my eyes at his stupidity.**

**"I know what happened," I snapped at him, "but celebrating signifies **_**happy **_**occasions, and this is **_**not **_**a happy occasion!"**

**"Draco's right," Pansy agreed with me, sitting next to me at the table. "We should be mourning the fact that no more Mudbloods will be paralyzed! That poor monster didn't even get a chance to kill one!"**

**"Exactly! I couldn't have said it better myself!" I actually meant it, too. Judging by the way Pansy was beaming at me, she felt just as honored as she should. Good. At least **_**someone **_**wasn't a total idiot. Too bad she had a pug's face. **

**Speaking of her pug face, I looked away from it and surveyed the Great Hall. It was all in a state of total chaos. My fellow students were acting like complete barbarians- honestly, it was embarrassing. I was sure that I would be at least half deaf from the sheer noise of it all by the time this was over. Students were dancing on tables, crying as they hugged each other in relief, drinking butterbeer and firewhiskey that someone had stolen from the kitchens- probably those dratted Weasley twins. **

**As if this wasn't enough, we were all in our pajamas. Yes, our pajamas. It was ridiculous- one minute, I was fast asleep in my comfortable dorm bed. The next, the Slytherin prefect was shaking me awake, telling me to, "Get up, Malfoy. The Heir of Slytherin's been caught, and everyone's celebrating in the Great Hall. Don't give me that look- I don't want to go either, but if the Slytherins stay in their dorms, we may well have a full uprising on our hands from the rest of Hogwarts, and we don't want that, now, do we?" He had ushered me out of my dormitory before I had the chance to even **_**ask **_**if I could change my clothes. Bloody git.**

**Even the teachers were in their pajamas and celebrating- well, not Snape. He was just sitting up at the teachers' table, like nothing out of the ordinary had happened; I figured that he hated this as much as I did. Surprisingly, he was dressed the same as he always was: black robes. He probably slept with them on. Now, **_**that **_**wouldn't surprise me.**

**Suddenly, all of the noise quieted down, and I looked to see Professor Dumbledore holding his hand up for silence. For once, I was thankful for the old gizzard. "Ah, it is so refreshing to see such happiness back at Hogwarts," he beamed down at all of us. I grimaced- a long, sentimental speech was the absolute **_**last **_**thing I needed.**

**"I am glad to say that I have resumed my post as Headmaster here at Hogwarts," Dumbledore continued, and I could have cried, my sorrow was so deep, "and I have no plans to leave anytime soon." This was met with a round of cheering, and I glared at anyone I could see. Only a group of first year Hufflepuffs were rightfully scared. Everyone else just gave me the finger. Manners these days! They're nonexistent, I tell you!**

**Dumbles held up his hand, and everyone was quiet again. "Now, I have a few announcements to make, and then we will allow everyone to resume their celebrations. First, I believe we all owe a round of applause to Professor Sprout, who raised an excellent harvest of Mandrakes." I crossed my arms stubbornly while the imbeciles I unfortunately called my classmates clapped for the Herbology teacher. "Due to the fact that those Mandrakes have now matured, Professor Snape was able to whip up a Mandrake Restorative Draught- thank you, Professor Snape- I believe that you will want to say hello to some of your classmates again."**

**Right on cue- honestly, it was **_**so **_**obvious that this had been set up- the doors to the Great Hall opened, and I could have sworn that I had died and gone to hell. There, in the doorway, were the four Mudbloods (and one ghost) who had been paralyzed.**

**The Mudbloods all ran through the Great Hall to their friends, grinning broadly while everyone cheered. Gits. Some people were even crying, which was really just plain pathetic. Since I had nothing else to do, I decided to watch Granger. She was just as bushy-haired and buck-toothed as ever, and Mr. I'm-So-Awesome-I-Saved-The-Day-Yet-**_**Again **_**Potter stood up to hug her while she yelled, "You solved it! You solved it!" Next Weasley stood up, and he and Granger prepared to hug each other when the strangest thing happened:**

**They stopped.**

**Just before they were about to hug each other, they stopped and backed away a little, both blushing furiously, their faces as red as Weasley's hair. They ended up shaking hands, sharing a long look that even I could tell, from the other side of the Great Hall, was full of meaning.**

**Merlin, that sounded disgustingly sentimental, almost. If it didn't pertain to a blood traitor and a Mudblood, Father might actually be proud of my wording.**

**There was a huge bang, and everyone's attention- including mine- was drawn to the doorway yet again. Our oaf of a gamekeeper was there, and this time, I didn't even bother trying to keep my poise and went ahead and banged my head on the table. It seemed that my fellow Slytherins wanted to do the same thing, proving that Slytherin is the best house, as all the others were acting like idiots and cheering. **_**Again**_**. What was it with these people and cheering?**

**I stopped banging my head against the table when a blissful silence was resumed, and I looked up at Dumbledore. "I extend a hearty 'Welcome back' to all of our returning friends," he smiled at the oaf, the ghost, and the Mudbloods each in turn (I was almost sick at how honored that looked by it), "but, alas, I have more announcements to make. For one, Professor Lockhart, unfortunately, will be unable to return to Hogwarts next year, owing to the fact that he needs to go away and get his memory back." For once, I joined in the cheering, utterly gleeful. **_**Finally**_**, something worth celebrating! Everyone seemed overjoyed, even the teachers; in fact, the only exception was a handful of heartbroken girls who were crying their ugly eyes out.**

**Now, McGonagall stood up. I hated to admit it- she was the Head of Gryffindor, the lowliest House imaginable, after all- but I could see why Dumbledore had appointed her Deputy Headmistress. Her standing up had the same effect as Dumbledore raising his hands: complete silence. **

**"I have an announcement of my own to make," she began, her voice commanding and scarily like Dumbledore's. "Since classes have been rather scarce this year, thanks to all this chaos with the Heir of Slytherin, as a school treat, all exams have been cancelled!"**

**Again, I had to cheer along with everyone else. Anyone who said that **_**this**_** wasn't good news had to be barmy, without a doubt (further proving my reasons for thinking that Granger should be put in a in mental unit of St. Mungo's; even across the Hall from her, her cry of, "Oh, **_**no**_**" could be heard above the cheering). **_**Perhaps coming to this unfortunate celebration wasn't a total waste, **_**I thought to myself. **_**After all, it's been two pieces of good, useful information in a row now!**_

**As soon as this thought passed through my head, though, Dumbledore just had to go and prove me wrong by standing up and awarding **_**four hundred **_**points to Gryffindor for Potter and Weasley.**

**Sometimes, I really hated my life.**

That was one of the less happy moments of my life. Losing really does upset me. I do hope that I don't have to point out which part of that memory hinted that Weasley and Granger had feelings for each other. If I do, then I suggest that you confront your parents as soon as possible at why they dropped you on your head as a baby. And no, I am _not _being hypocritical, if you're wondering. My parents never once dropped me on my handsome head as a baby!

I've been told that Aunt Bella did, though.

**_My lack of updating is inexcusable. Please, feel free to throw vegetables at me. Hope you liked this chapter; PLEASE review and tell me what you think! Even if I don't deserve it!_**

**_Thanks so much,_**

**_Joelle8_**


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